Ah!!bugger...

Identity crisis level : This is probably what I sound like in technical interviews.

Sair kar duniya ki gafil,  Zindagani phir kahan  Zindagani gar rahi to  Naujawani phir kahan.  - Ismail Merthi

It's in the worst phases when you realize that life is too short for tentative half measures. You'll end up regretting both ways. If things go well, you wonder how much better they could have gone had you been more decisive, conversely if things go bad, you wish you had the courage to put your foot down in the first place. Screw all that. For once in my life, I'm going to go all in and see where that lands me up at. You see those motivational stickers all through your life, "Make every moment count", "Live the moment" and you know they're right but you just shrug it off with a "Nah, maybe later, when I'm more stable." I wonder if anyone is ever stable. All the wealth in the world, private jets, islands and beautiful women later, you'll still be wishing for the stars. The key is to feel alive more than anything. We're so obsessed with securing our futures and that of our future generation that we miss out on those moments

I am now officially very depressed. Well played guys, well played.

I think it was the morning of New Year's day or thereabouts when I started heading back from Mainak, homewards. The Kolkata Marathon was scheduled in a few days time, and given the new found enthusiasm that a new year brings, I was suddenly taken over by this incessant urge to give it a shot. However, rationality prevailed in the end (shocking, eh?) and I decided that I was woefully short on preparation. "Next year, for sure." I resolved, and decided to set things in motion by walking the entire distance from Ballygunje Phari to my home in Garia. Stepping out in the pleasant sunlight of that winter morning, it didn't seem too much of a task really. I love walking for one, and I've walked longer distances without breaking into too much of a sweat. That one time when a couple of school friend's were staying over at Anirban's place for the night. Sagnik made us download and watch 'Veer'. It was immense fun, given how utterly awful the movie was. The

Two sunrises in a row now. High fives all around. I am becoming quite the morning person these days. Winter mornings are fun admittedly. The chilly morning air, the cold mists and the shadows right before sunrise, giving way ever so gradually with the first gleam of the morning sun spreading light and warmth all over. A pleasant cure for weary eyes, and wearier souls. If you're wondering about my sleep cycle then it's best to warn you that many a renowned scientist have found dark corners in the heart of asylums after fretting over it. For now, I make do fine with my prolonged sleeplessness by making it up with prolonged sleepiness. I dunno what the long term consequences are but it seems to work for now. You put all your faith in the medical system, trusting that by the time your bad habits come back to bite you in the ass, medical science would have progressed enough to deal with it. Now, moving onto more important aspects than sunrises and my sleep patterns. The New Year

Magic is all about deception. The ability to bamboozle you with simple mind tricks, Step 1 - Make it interactive, "Think of a number, any number..." Step 2 - Play the perfect host, ask obvious questions to build up a little suspense, "Are you done? Ready for it?" Step 3 - The grand reveal, "Good. I don't care, live with it." Step 4 - Laugh at the bamboozled audience. *trumpets* "Ta-daa!" Step 5 - Making a quick exit from the stage, maybe put in a neat vanishing act. That is pretty much all it takes. Practice, practice, practice is what makes perfect though. So, wanna see a magic trick? "Think of a number, any number..."

*grins* You know that feeling when you sit down to do something meaningful finally and just at that moment get completely overpowered by this insane urge to do something starkly opposite and meaningless and and can only resign yourself to grins and helpless laughter betraying both the amusement and exasperation that you experience as you give in to that urge? Well, once you figure that out, it will explain the big grin there up top. Anyhow, I'm having one of those nights, full of perspectives and innate reflections, analyzing the world around us, as it is, as it has been, and as it ever will be. How important a role does chance play upon our lives, or luck as we call it. Today, I spent the better part of the day lying around in perfect comfort and nothing came of it. When Newton does it, he gets to discover gravity. How unfair is that. I recall the oft repeated sms joke that invariably used to be circulated the eve before the physics exam in school with people wishing a cocon